Slave and Master to Every Bite (Part 3)

“And I couldn’t stand the person inside me. I turned all the mirrors around. I’m bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home. I’m meaner than my demons, I’m bigger than these bones.” Control – Halsey Slave and Master to Every Bite (Part 2) in May of 2020 brought about my first public declaration […]

I Hid My Daughter’s Diagnosis For Seven Years

“It’s the imperfections that make something beautiful, that’s what makes it different and unique from everything else.” -Bob Ross Okay, maybe not hid. Hid implies I never told a soul; but grossly-misled and dismissed was too wordy for a title. I was never embarrassed or ashamed of my daughter’s diagnosis. It wasn’t that I “didn’t […]

Slave and Master to Every Bite (Part 2)

“Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.” -Jean Cocteau Last Friday upon waking, I shuffled around to encourage my body to release it’s nightly water weight/swelling. I refrained from eating or drinking, evacuated my bowels, and stripped down. My scale rolled back a whole pound. Saturday, for the first time since my accident (Plates, Pins […]

Their Favorite Words

100 years from now I hope my words grace the tongues of men and women yearning to speak their truth ________ 100 years from now with tea and fresh flowers or on a subway, clutching tight the words, steadying their day ________ 100 years from now on yellowed paper and bent pages tucked away between […]

The Things I Carry

“They carried all they could bear, and then some, including a silent awe for the terrible power of the things they carried.” -Tim O’Brien, The Things They Carried The toddler covered in coffee burns, screaming, waiting for the helicopter… The woman, lost, who drove off the side of the mountain in pitch darkness… The jet-skier […]

Meet Me In These Dreams I Weave

Meet me in these dreams I weave All the different versions of myself you move in tandem with them all Get lost in the maze inside my head ________ You are a living calendar of all the days I have lived without you It’s felt endless ________ With the devotion of the blind explore and […]

The Red Thread

Our roots run intertwined your name envelops mine Suddenly awash in every quiet moment shared overpowered, overcome ________ Loving you changed my world one look opened up a lifetime of imagination Now, with each glance I let you go ________ Secrets no longer hushed in the dark words no longer hidden in boxes. No longer […]

A Delicate Midnight

Places in my mind I routinely go bathed in nerves and moonlight my breath held in midnight exchanges ________ Can I keep you? concealed in a song a moment solidified wide eyed and wanting like a photograph, framed a memento of lost youth ________ Can I keep you? under that full moon despite the moment […]

The Melting Point of a Camel’s Back

“And then something invisible snapped inside her, and that which had come together commenced to fall apart.” -John Green, Looking For Alaska Welcome to the dismal, ill-fated and certainly unplanned sequel to Plates, Pins and Nerves of Steel. Six weeks after folding upon myself at the bottom of the staircase, I can still hear the […]

Sideways

I’ve never seen this side of you sideways from this angle you appear aglow and unbridled ________ No longer a person but a defined destination sideways whispers stirring and unabridged ________ Through shadows and moonbeams your gaze never fails me I’ve never seen such color telling and unclouded ________ Your hand meets my waist through […]